I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
