he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
