Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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