My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
