I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
