It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
