Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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