On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
