it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
