Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I don't think brook has ever known best
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
