so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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