Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
