well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
