Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
