gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
