i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
