Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
