I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
