I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
