bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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