DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They are going to name an STD after you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
