32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
