I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
