my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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