How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
