idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
two words...techno handjob
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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