my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
