How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
