Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
