you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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