Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
