Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Randomize
