You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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