Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
