shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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