When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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