that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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