we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
