I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
