I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
