I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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