i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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