dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
