I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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