After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
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I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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