tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
