I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
