my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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