so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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