I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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