ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
