What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize