Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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