Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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