Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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