i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
