I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize