Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize