I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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