Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize