When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
