im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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