Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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