Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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