Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize