Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
