this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
