i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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