I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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