I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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