Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think I won the penis lottery.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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